Table of Contents

• Personal Growth: Why Laughter is the Best Medicine
• Health: Seven Steps to Healthy Anger Release
• Parenting: Teach Children to Save the Earth
• Inner Growth: Some Characteristics of Spiritual Growth
• Inner Growth: If You Haven’t Made Any Mistakes Lately
• Parenting: Helping Children Adjust to Divorce or Separation
• Health: Mastering Stress to Avoid Heart Diseases
• Interpersonal Relationship: When You Get into an Argument
• Personal Effectiveness: Strategies for Remembering
• Inner Peace: Driving Meditation
• Global Peace: Key Themes for Global Peace
• Personal Growth: How to Cope with Loneliness
• Personal Effectiveness: Practice Caring Behavior
• Inner Peace: Choose to Ignore an Insult
• Personal Effectiveness: Getting Past Failures
• Interpersonal Relationship: Communication Stoppers
• Parenting: How Do We Teach Our Children Courage?
• Personal Effectiveness: Exercise Helps Memory
• Parenting: Sometimes the Hard Way is the Best Way
• Animal Welfare: You Have the Right Not to Dissect Animals
• Service: You Can Make a Difference
• Spirituality: Are You a Gratitude Collector?

PERSONAL GROWTH

Why Laughter is the Best Medicine

Make laughter a natural habit. And there are good medical reasons for this.

When you laugh, the body releases hormones and other beneficial chemicals which can help alleviate anxiety, lighten depression, and heal the body itself.

Laughter stimulates the endocrine glands. The pituitary glands release natural painkillers like endorphins and enkephalins.
The adrenals secrete epinephrine, norepinephrine, and dopamine, which give that glow after you have had a good laugh.
The catecholamines released from the adrenals help fight pain and inflammation.
Blood flow is improved; relaxation of the arteries lowers blood pressure.
The right creative side of the brain becomes more active.
Source: Susan Smith Jones, Choose to Live Each Day Fully, Celestial Arts Publishing, P.O. Box 7123, Berkeley, CA 94707, U.S.A.

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HEALTH

Seven Steps to Healthy Anger Release

Being prone to anger is one of the toughest habits to overcome. It sometimes causes more problems than it solves. Here are seven steps in dealing with anger from The Complete Guide to Your Emotions and Your Health:

Recognize the anger you re feeling. Sounds simple, but it isn t. But when you don t become aware of it and recognize it, it is pushed inside where it does harm.
Decide what made you angry. Is it worth getting angry over? If it s a small annoyance as it is in the majority of cases forget it. If you can t forget it, then perhaps the source of your anger goes beyond this simple incident. Find out. Bring your feelings to the surface and deal with them.
Give the provoker the benefit of the doubt. Suggest to yourself that perhaps this person is having a bad day. Think of some reasonable justification for the behavior something you can relate to.
Do some relaxation exercise or count to ten. Calm down first, then discuss the conflict rationally.
Make your grievance known without attacking the other person. This needs good communication skills which can be learned. Use I sentences rather than you phrases. Example: I feel hurt rather than You are very insensitive.
Listen. This is a key step. And above all, understand.
Forgive. When you forgive . . . many clearly positive psychological changes take place, says Dr. Rick Ingrasci in New Age Journal. Through forgiveness you once again experience the love that is the essence of your relationship. You remember that you care about this person which may be why their behavior hurt so much in the first place.
Source: Emrika Padus and the Staff of Prevention Magazine, The Complete Guide to Your Emotions and Your Health. Rodale Press, Emmaus, Pennsylvania, U.S.A.

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PARENTING

Teach Children to Save the Earth

Pollution is one of the most serious environmental problems we face today. Here are some suggestions you can teach your children:

Encourage your children to start up recycling programs at school. Collecting newspapers, bottles and cans is a great deal to reduce these waste at home and school.
Teach them to recycle. Teach them by caring for their toys so they will not need replacing.
Buy toys that will last, and when your children outgrow them, pass them on. You can give them to the orphans or other toy libraries that welcome donations. Encourage your children to be involved in conservation and environment organizations.
Source: The Earthworks Group, 50 Simple Things You Can Do to Save the Earth. Hodder and Stoughton Ltd., Mill Road, Dunton Green Sevenoaks, Kent TN13 2YA, U.K.

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INNER GROWTH

Some Characteristics of Spiritual Growth

Spiritual growth involves a process beyond our conscious mind and emotions. It runs deep and its effect is permanent. The changes are fundamental, and can sometimes be difficult to go through. Among other things, it involves character change, change of outlook, and change in the quality of one s consciousness.

In going through such growth, there are some characteristics in the process that may help a person if he or she is aware of them. Here are four characteristics identified by Dr. Susan Jeffers in her book End the Struggle and Dance with Life:

Spiritual growth is slow. There are no quick fixes. Even if insights seem to be sudden, they are usually the result of years of unconscious or conscious seeking.
When we think nothing is happening, it is. There is an unseen world of energy moving and changing within and around us. Trust is the essential ingredient for feeling peaceful while these unseen forces do their work.
Spiritual growth is not linear. It has its spurts, its plateaus, and its backsteps. This is not to be lamented; it is just he way it is. Let it be.
Spiritual growth is never-ending. There is always much more to learn. You never get there.
Source: Dr. Susan Jeffers, End the Struggle and Dance with Life. St. Martin s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010, U.S.A.

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INNER GROWTH

If You Haven t Made Any Mistakes Lately . . .

Here is a reminder for perfectionists and those who dare not dare: If you haven t made any mistakes lately, you must be doing something wrong!

This is the advice of Dr. Susan Jeffers, who reminds us further that:

Mistakes suggest that we are learning and growing, experimenting and expanding in life, and we won t always get it right.
Upsets in your life are not a sign that something has gone wrong, only that something is changing.
Change usually brings confusion. Then we enter into clarity again, until the next change in life.
Confusion and clarity seem to be the rhythm of growth. In this, confusion is not a bad thing.
Source: Dr. Susan Jeffers, End the Struggle and Dance with Life. St. Martin s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010, U.S.A.

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PARENTING

Helping Children Adjust to Divorce or Separation

Children are the hardest hit when parents separate or divorce. Couples should always take this into primary consideration and weigh it against personal needs and conveniences. But when the separation is inevitable, here are some suggested steps in minimizing emotional injury in children: From the book Stress-Proofing Your Child by Sheldon Lewis and Sheila Kay Lewis:

Both parents should tell the child together about the decision. Explain in general terms, such as Mommy and Daddy are arguing too much and we think it would be better to live in separate places so we don t fight so much. Don t bombard the child with details, such as financial arrangements.
Explain clearly that the separation is not the child s fault.
Don t put the child in the middle such as to carry message to, spy on, or keep secrets from the other parent. Don t ask the child to take sides or turn against the other parent. Any of these behaviors puts the child in a no-win situation having to choose or betray one of the parents. It leads to tremendous guilt and shame.
Don t fight in front of the child. In fact, don t fight at all. Get a mediator if necessary.
Don t force the child to make adult decisions, such as who gets custody although it is important that the child s wishes be known.
Let your child s teachers know about the separation so they can understand and help your child, who may have difficulty in concentrating and doing her best in school. Seek professional help if necessary, which you and your child may find helpful.
Sheldon Lewis and Sheila Kay Lewis, Stress-Proofing Your Child. Bantam Books, 1540 Broadway, New York, N.Y. 10036, U.S.A.

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HEALTH

Mastering Stress to Avoid Heart Diseases

Here are seven ways to manage stress according to the book Take Control of Your Life, A Complete Guide to Stress Relief:

Don t overreact. Don t make a mountain out of a molehill. Chronic overreaction grossly overworks your heart and arteries.
Talk yourself down from the brink. Self-talk help people cut down on self-induced stress when things don t go their way. Positive self-talk thinking That s okay. I ll use the time to finish a project I m working on is a positive, less stress- producing reaction.
Stand back and consider all your options. Managing stress means managing the anger and anxiety you feel in a stressful situation; you can see the options available and solve the problem.
Learn to say no. Don t try to do more than is realistically possible.
Set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Much self-induced stress especially guilt and perfectionism arises from expectations that cannot be met. Aim for excellence, not perfection.
Make friends. Having a spouse and friends you can confide in or count on in times of uncertainty reduces the impact of stress on the heart.
Find a relaxation technique that suits you, and practice it daily, like deep breathing or visualization, and adopt the ones you like best.
SOURCE: Sharon Faelten, David Diamond & the Editors of Prevention Magazine, Take Control of Your Life. Rodale Press, Emmaus, Pennsylvania, U.S.A.

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INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

WhenYou Get into an Argument

There are many tested approaches that will help if you find yourself arguing with another person over an issue. Here are three tips from Tom Rusk in his book, The Power of Ethical Persuasion:

Listen. This is very important. Let the other person present his or her points without interrupting.
See it their way. Restate their view before you present yours. People are more likely to be swayed by your logic if they feel you understand them.
Don t get personal. If you are talking business, don t bring up his bad golf swing to prove his lack of judgment. This will only make him mad and less willing to concede.
Susan Smith Jones, Choose to Live Each Day Fully, Celestial Arts Publishing, P.O. Box 7123, Berkeley, CA 94707, U.S.A.

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PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Strategies for Remembering

How many times have you been in trouble just because you forgot something: where you kept an important document, what you want to say in a speech, names, errands, etc.

Here are some suggestions from The Complete Guide to Your Emotions and Your Health:

Make a habit of associating the thing you wish to recall with something concrete. For example, in putting a document at the bottom of a drawer, be conscious of the muscles in your back as you bend. Think of the document, look at the drawer, and place your hand on the drawer for a moment to fix it in your mind.
If you have to make a speech, associate the speech with your own house. Think of the opening as the front door, your main arguments as the kitchen, dining room, bedroom, in the natural order you would walk through them. End by associating your conclusion with your back porch.
If you want to bear into your memory important information you just read, picture the page. How often do we remember It was on the bottom of the left-hand page. Think of the necessary facts as they appear on the page.
If you need to remember a list, such as things to buy or things to do, associate the items with something there s no chance you ll forget: the alphabet. For example: Suppose you have to look for the ZIP Code at the post office; then go to the library; and bring your watch for cleaning. You can creatively reword these to make them ABC: A for Address (which reminds you of ZIP Code); B for books (library) and C for Cleaning (the watch).
Source: Emrika Padus and the Staff of Prevention Magazine, The Complete Guide to Your Emotions and Your Health. Rodale Press, Emmaus, Pennsylvania, U.S.A.

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INNER PEACE

Driving Meditation

Those who drive in congested cities are familiar with the feelings of frustration during a traffic jam. Famous peace advocate Thich Nhat Hanh says that such situations are ideal for practicing mindfulness or awareness.

While we are driving, he says, we think only about arriving. Therefore, every time we see a red light, we are not very happy. The red light is a kind of enemy that prevents us from attaining our goal. But we can also see the red light as a bell of mindfulness, reminding us to return to the present moment. The next time you see a red light, please smile at it and go back to your breathing. Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile. It is easy to transform a feeling of irritation into a pleasant feeling. Although it is the same red light, it becomes different. It becomes a friend, helping us remember that it is only in the present moment that we can live our lives.

Source: Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step. Bantam Books, 666 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10103, U.S.A.

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GLOBAL PEACE

Key Themes for Global Peace

In looking at solutions for world peace, certain themes must be kept in mind that can simplify the issues and allow us to focus on the core problems. Here are themes that author John Huddleston considers important in his book Achieving Peace by the Year 2000:

A focus on key global principles that can unite nations, rather than on local peace issues which cause division and alienate an important sector of the political spectrum.
An integrated system to avoid the weakness of piecemeal approaches. For example, elimination of offensive weapons must consider acceptable defense systems or sanctions by the international community.
Simple but significant concepts: a) the absolute abolition of war, allowing for no exceptions for just wars and b) the abolition of all offensive weapons in all countries without exception.
A realistic approach to the enforcement of peace, providing for : a) effective monitoring of disarmament; b) strong self-defense measures for each nation; and c) realistic and effective collective security.
Settlement of disputes in an objective environment: a) political disputes to be adjudicated by a new World Peace Council, not by the Security Council or the General Assembly of the UN; b) human rights grievances to be heard by the World Court, not by the politicized UN Human Rights Commission.
A focus on the solution of immediate critical problems, and giving secondary priorities to other matters such as a world language or extensive reform of the UN.
Involvement of ordinary people from every nation to give support to leaders and experts.
An emphasis on an equal role of women both as a matter of justice and because of their unique qualities which naturally incline them to peace.
Cultivation of the concept of world citizenship through the introduction of classes in schools, colleges around the world that teach ideals of the peace movement and the unity of mankind.
Source: John Huddleston, Achieving Peace by the Year 2000. Oneworld Publications Ltd. 185 Banbury Road, Oxford OX2 7AR, United Kingdom

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PERSONAL GROWTH

How to Cope with Loneliness

Psychologists and doctors recognize loneliness as a serious cause of ill-health. Here are some steps in coping with loneliness according to Who Says You Can t.

1. Face your loneliness. When you find yourself alone, see it as an opportunity to discover yourself. The best way to cure it is to express yourself without embarrassment.

2. Take practical steps. Relax and chat about something not related to your work. Be involved in some small group that has a definite purpose. It could be church related, hobby or civic action.

3. Share. Try to share your thoughts with others.

4. Learn to develop close relationships and friendships with people you can trust.

Source: Who Says You Can t by Solar Publishing Corporation, 3rd Floor, Quad Alpha Century Bldg., 125 Pioneer, Mandaluyong, Metro Manila, Philippines

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PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Practice Caring Behavior

Try this experiment with your husband or wife.

Ask your spouse to give you a list of things that would make him or her feel more content. If your spouse is interested, give him your list too. Examples of things in the list can be: Help me wash my hair; open the door for me; take me out to dinner so I won t have to spend time in the kitchen.

Try to do at least 3 things in the list every day for your spouse. Acknowledge what your partner did also and show appreciation.

Susan Smith Jones, Choose to Live Each Day Fully, Celestial Arts Publishing, P.O. Box 7123, Berkeley, CA 94707, U.S.A.

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INNER PEACE

Choose to Ignore an Insult

How many times have you been unhappy because you think someone insulted you?

Learn from a Chinese proverb that says it is better to ignore an insult than to have to respond to one.

You have the choice on how to respond to the negative attitudes of others. You can make it your own negative states or not.

This does not mean that you allow anybody to abuse you. But you may find that it s much more exhilarating to keep your head clear for contemplating the big picture, and not to sweat on the little stuff.

Source: Elaine St. James, Inner Simplicity. Hyperion, 114 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10011, U.S.A.

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PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Getting Past Failures

Oscar Hammerstein II, co-author of Oklahoma, The King and I, and South Pacific, inserted an advertisement in the Christmas issue of Variety where actors and producers display their successes. Hammerstein omitted all his triumphs. He only listed five failures before Oklahoma, stating at the bottom in big letters, I did it before and I can do it again.

J. Maurus, Anecdotes of the Great. St. Paul Publications, 2650 F.B. Harrison, Pasay City, Philippines

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INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

Communication Stoppers

Certain words can stop listening and communication. When we deal with children, employees, friends and others, we should note that these words may deny validity to the feelings and self-esteem of the other person. Here is a list drawn up by Mendel Lieberman and Marion Hardie, in their book Resolving Family and Other Conflicts:

Directing, ordering, commanding (e.g., Stop crying, Try harder, You must . . . . ) produce fright, defensiveness, resentment.
Threatening, warning, punishing words (e.g. If you do that, you ll be grounded or fired ) has the same effect.
Preaching, moralizing (e.g., When you re older, you ll realize . . . ) tend to induce guilt, reduce self-esteem.
Persuading, arguing, lecturing invite counter arguments, increase defensive- ness and reduce openness.
Advising and recommending imply superiority and deprive the receiver of the esteem-building experience of solving his/her own problems, and may encourage dependency.
Criticizing, name-calling, characterizing, and blaming (e.g., You never . . ., You always . . ., You re a typical lawyer ) lower self-esteem and induce guilt, arouse resentment and feelings of rejection.
Sarcasm and teasing (e.g., So the world is all wrong and you are all right ) arouse feelings of rejection or frustration.
Diagnosing, psychoanalyzing, and mind reading are generally experienced as threatening to privacy and can undermine self-trust and self-perception. E.g. It s just a phase you re going through, You re just hostile to men.
Withdrawing or diverting (e.g., I won t discuss it any further) indicates lack of respect.
Cross-examining (e.g., Are you sure you are telling the truth?) ignore the other person s feelings and communicate distrust.
Praising and approving (e.g., That s a good job) are usually well- intended but imply that the speaker can judge the other s performance. The relationship created is that of judge/supplicant.
Reassuring, consoling, excusing, sympathizing (e.g., It will feel better in the morning) can sometimes convey lack of understanding or empathy of what the other person is undergoing.
Me Too messages (e.g., I have that trouble too) tend to shift attention from the person to the intervenor.
Source: Mendel Lieberman and Marion Hardie, Resolving Family and Other Conflicts. Cymbidium Books, 13393 Souse Lane, Saratoga, CA 95070, U.S.A.

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PARENTING

How Do We Teach Our Children Courage?

Here are some points on how to teach courage to our children from the book Teaching Your Children Values.

1. Praise their attempts. When a child takes a step and makes a try, he deserves bounteous praise, whether there was any success or not. Especially praise moral courage not going along with others who were doing something wrong, telling the truth when a lie would have been easier, and so forth.

2. Give your children a parental model for courage. Children are great imitators, so they want to behave as adults do, particularly if their models are their own parents.

3. Clarify the difference between courage and loudness, and between the lack of courage and shyness. Teach them to stand up for their own rights as well as others . Explain with them about quiet courage the courage to say no to something that is wrong, the courage to say hello to a child who has no friends.

4. Teach children to cope with their fears. Allow your children to have their fears, to identify the causes of their fears, but encourage them to believe they are brave and strong to live through these fears.

It is important for children to learn, to think through a problem, develop alternative solutions, analyze the potential consequences, and pick one that looks best.

Sources: Linda & Richard Eyre Teaching Your Children Values Fireside, Simon & Schuster Building, Rockefeller Center, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020, U.S.A.

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PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Exercise Helps Memory

A study in Utah State University found that exercise helps improve memory.

Three groups of people were tested. One did water aerobics three times weekly for nine weeks. The second one went on with their lives as usual. The third group socialized together, watching plays, basketball games, etc.

The people in the exercise group significantly increased their short-term memory, such as remembering names, phone numbers or directions.

Susan Smith Jones, Choose to Live Each Day Fully, Celestial Arts Publishing, P.O. Box 7123, Berkeley, CA 94707, U.S.A.

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PARENTING

Sometimes the Hard Way is the Best Way

How many times have you told your son or daughter about something and your message does not seem to get through?

Sometimes, it is best to allow natural consequences to take over and teach the child a lesson. A child who refuses to put his clothes in the laundry basket will one morning find that he has no clean shirts to wear.

Allow the child to experience the inconvenient consequence of not being responsible. They learn from their mistakes.

Susan Smith Jones, Choose to Live Each Day Fully, Celestial Arts Publishing, P.O. Box 7123, Berkeley, CA 94707, U.S.A.

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ANIMAL WELFARE

You Have the Right Not to Dissect Animals

Every year millions of animals are killed and dissected in biology classes around the world. There is a growing trend among parents and students to protest the compulsory dissection of animals in schools.

Some American states have already passed laws requiring schools to provide alternatives for students who object to dissecting animals, whether alive or dead.

In 1987, the Argentinian government banned dissection in schools and stated that biology is the science of life and it is not consistent to teach it at the expense of other beings. It further pointed out that experiments on animals are part of a dangerous process which tends to desensitize the mind to pain and suffering.

One organization in the United States offers advice on how to deal with conflicts with schools on vivisection: Pat Graham, Dissection Hotline Director, Route 1, Box 541, Waynesville, North Carolina 28786, U.S.A. Tel. No. 1-800-922FROG or 1-704-452- 7159.

Sources: (1). Dr. Vernon Coleman, Why Animal Experiments Must Stop. Merlin Press, 10 Malden Road, London NW5 3HR, UK. (2) Service Link, 9 Avenue de la Republique, 93420, Villepinte, France.

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SERVICE

You Can Make a Difference

When you rise in the morning, say that you will make the day blessed to a fellow creature. It is easily done: a left-off garment to the man who needs it; a kind word to the sorrowful; an encouraging expression to the struggling trifles in themselves as light as air will do at least for the 24 hours.

And if you are young, depend upon it, it will tell when you are old; and if you are old, rest assured it will send you gently down the stream of time to eternity.

By the most simply arithmetical sum, look into the result. If you send one person away happy through the day, there will be 365 in the course of a year. And suppose you live 40 years only, after you commence this course of medicine, you have made 14,600 persons happy, at all events for a time.

Source: Anonymous, quoted in The Daily Journal of Kindness compiled by Meladee McCarty and Hanoch McCarty. Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida, U.S.A.

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SPIRITUALITY

Are You a Gratitude Collector?

When gratitude is expressed to a kind act, the giver of kindness may feel good, but it can, at times, take away a little of that pure pleasure that come from just the doing of it. Rabbi Moses Maimonides lists the levels of charity and he gave such a high place for acts done anonymously.

Notice whether we have the habit of collecting gratitudes. How do we regard another person who is such a collector? Plan to do a quiet anonymous kindness. Perhaps the most grown up thing we can do is to give kindnesses in ways that do not obligate or even slightly embarrass the receiver.

Source: Meladee McCarty and Hanoch McCarty, The Daily Journal of Kindness. Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida, U.S.A.

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Be a Vegetarian for a Day

If you are not a vegetarian, try and see what it feels like to be one for a day. Eat no beef, pork veal, lamb, fowl, or fish.

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A Successful Individual . . . typically sets his next goal somewhat but not too much above his last achievement. In this way he steadily raises his level of aspiration. KURT LENIN

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted. MOTHER TERESA

There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle. ROBERT ALDEN

Kindness . . . means loving people more than they deserve. JOSEPH JOUBERT

Of course there is no formula for success . . . except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings

. ARTHUR RUBINSTEIN

Prepared by:
Peace Center
Theosophical Society in the Philippines
tspeace@info.com.ph